i'll have a piss please Carol

First the good news - I won a show ! And I beat the 7-time champ to deny her an eighth show and a place in the quarters. Managed a 9-letter word in the process and then hit the conundrum to come from behind to win. Sadly no rude words came up (unlike the previous show where both players got SHITTED and they had to re-film the section with different words). Was definitely an advantage playing last (they film a whole week's programmes in one day) as the champ had played and won 4 shows already that day and visibly had complete knackeredness of the brain by the end.

Day 1 score: 83 - 76 (will be broadcast Friday 5th January)

My nightmariest nightmare was realised the next day when I came in to find out I was up against a child prodigy. Shit. Went into the waiting room to meet everyone playing that day and found him surrounded by his parents, grandparents and sundry relatives reading....READING the dictionary. I ask the production assistant if I can go home but it's too late. Obviously thrown by this terrible fate, I battle hard to keep ahead but his maths is too good and he beats me 82-59. He even manages to get one of the number rounds right when Carol Vorderman couldn't. Ouch.

Day 2 score: 82 - 59 (will be broadcast....actually dont bother :)